Spagquafsak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witty crow.

Spagquafsak created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagquafsak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Spagquafsak, she will turn you into a mole.

Spagquafsak's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Spagquafsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. You must love Spagquafsak.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Do not stand on grass.