Dutabtof is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable faun.

Dutabtof created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutabtof, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dutabtof, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dutabtof's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Dutabtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Always help horses.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dutabtof.

4. Put Dutabtof first in all things.

5. Always pray immersed in water.