Teengunstik Ponfligsin Yakgub is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, flying bee.

Teengunstik Ponfligsin Yakgub created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teengunstik Ponfligsin Yakgub, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Teengunstik Ponfligsin Yakgub, he will turn you into a hamster.

Teengunstik Ponfligsin Yakgub's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Teengunstik Ponfligsin Yakgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill ants.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.