Kimtoncep Mabmipkop is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unthinking horse.

Kimtoncep Mabmipkop created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimtoncep Mabmipkop, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kimtoncep Mabmipkop, she will boil you in a big pot.

Kimtoncep Mabmipkop's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Kimtoncep Mabmipkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Kimtoncep Mabmipkop must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Worship no other gods but Kimtoncep Mabmipkop.