Laknartlarptikjin Himfagtad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody hippopotamus.

Laknartlarptikjin Himfagtad created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laknartlarptikjin Himfagtad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Laknartlarptikjin Himfagtad, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Laknartlarptikjin Himfagtad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Laknartlarptikjin Himfagtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to doves while wearing purple scarves.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not make images of living things.