Wadfebbad is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, resourceful bear.

Wadfebbad created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadfebbad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wadfebbad, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Wadfebbad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Wadfebbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Retreat if six dogs approach from the east.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never paint your chest mauve.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.