Tadtanbatkenyam is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, sage clam.

Tadtanbatkenyam created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadtanbatkenyam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tadtanbatkenyam, it will turn you into a snail.

Tadtanbatkenyam's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tadtanbatkenyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help mice in need.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.