Tikjigcam is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless pigeon.

Tikjigcam created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikjigcam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tikjigcam, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tikjigcam's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tikjigcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Never sit in the presence of pigs.

3. Always obey Tikjigcam's priests.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never eat nuts.