Witmumjam Nillweebarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless lion.

Witmumjam Nillweebarn created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Witmumjam Nillweebarn, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Witmumjam Nillweebarn, he will be very unhappy.

Witmumjam Nillweebarn's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Witmumjam Nillweebarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill capybaras.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Run away from magenta snails, for they are unholy.

4. Feed all hungry tortoises.

5. Never paint your feet pink.