Flatmumgep is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, kind horse.

Flatmumgep created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatmumgep, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flatmumgep, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flatmumgep's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Flatmumgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Nematodes are not to be trusted.