Weeyarlmif is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, contented monkey.

Weeyarlmif created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Weeyarlmif, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Weeyarlmif, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Weeyarlmif's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Weeyarlmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never talk about hamsters.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Weeyarlmif.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.