Bep Lenbamgemrak is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, ill-tempered goblin.

Bep Lenbamgemrak created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bep Lenbamgemrak, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bep Lenbamgemrak, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bep Lenbamgemrak's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bep Lenbamgemrak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green dolphins for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bep Lenbamgemrak.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never talk about shrews.