Ganyimhivwapdav is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, omnipotent dog.

Ganyimhivwapdav created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganyimhivwapdav, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ganyimhivwapdav, she will remove you from existence.

Ganyimhivwapdav's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Ganyimhivwapdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

3. Ganyimhivwapdav must be the most important thing in your life.

4. You must pray to Ganyimhivwapdav seven times a day.

5. Never paint your arms brown.