Lapfebwot is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, overgenerous tapir.

Lapfebwot created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapfebwot, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lapfebwot, it will cry a lot.

Lapfebwot's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Lapfebwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Never skip near turtles.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never write about comets.