Lanfabrot Zigjig Vigflammin is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, humorless scorpion.

Lanfabrot Zigjig Vigflammin created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanfabrot Zigjig Vigflammin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lanfabrot Zigjig Vigflammin, it will destroy your home solar system.

Lanfabrot Zigjig Vigflammin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Lanfabrot Zigjig Vigflammin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lanfabrot Zigjig Vigflammin.