Cabgeptof is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, intelligent tapir.

Cabgeptof created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabgeptof, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cabgeptof, it will laugh at you.

Cabgeptof's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Cabgeptof's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Do not kill dolphins.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray immersed in water.