Jarnsabrullen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, loving yak.

Jarnsabrullen created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnsabrullen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jarnsabrullen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jarnsabrullen's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jarnsabrullen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Jarnsabrullen on top of all buildings.