Taffodmis is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, humorless turtle.

Taffodmis created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Taffodmis, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Taffodmis, it will turn you into a slug.

Taffodmis' most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Taffodmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Taffodmis' priests.

2. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never eat cucumbers.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

5. Always stare at clouds.