Veg Ladnellved is a god.

He takes the form of a small, stupid grasshopper.

Veg Ladnellved created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veg Ladnellved, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Veg Ladnellved, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Veg Ladnellved's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Veg Ladnellved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always wear pink.