Quillquamgep Arttagben is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, clever wasp.

Quillquamgep Arttagben created the Andromeda Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillquamgep Arttagben, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quillquamgep Arttagben, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Quillquamgep Arttagben's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Quillquamgep Arttagben's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never feed carrots to bats while wearing orange stockings.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

5. Never look in ponds.