Bomvilril Fagbetnan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, happy finch.

Bomvilril Fagbetnan created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomvilril Fagbetnan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bomvilril Fagbetnan, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bomvilril Fagbetnan's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bomvilril Fagbetnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Feed all hungry badgers.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.