Hitjathon is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, awesome unicorn.

Hitjathon created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitjathon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hitjathon, it will not care at all.

Hitjathon's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Hitjathon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Hitjathon must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not eat peanuts.

5. Hide from mauve geese for they are unholy.