Tarparmbigjon is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage dingo.

Tarparmbigjon created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tarparmbigjon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarparmbigjon, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tarparmbigjon's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tarparmbigjon's Holy Commandments

1. Tarparmbigjon loves geese, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.