Latbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, confident chicken.

Latbonk created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Latbonk, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Latbonk, he will turn you into a snail.

Latbonk's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Latbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. You must never eat nuts.