Cabkemkam is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving scorpion.

Cabkemkam created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabkemkam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cabkemkam, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Cabkemkam's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cabkemkam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never sit in the presence of horses.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.