Cepsagnur is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, irritating cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cepsagnur created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepsagnur, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cepsagnur, it will turn you into a hamster.

Cepsagnur's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cepsagnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always look after injured eagles.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.