Yarpbappon is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain turtle.

Yarpbappon created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbappon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yarpbappon, he will turn you into a frog.

Yarpbappon's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Yarpbappon's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yarpbappon six times a day.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.