Titvolbast is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, staggering rat.

Titvolbast created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Titvolbast, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Titvolbast, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Titvolbast's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Titvolbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. You must love Titvolbast.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Never sit in holy places.