Watpinlak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, prudent wasp.

Watpinlak created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watpinlak, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Watpinlak, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Watpinlak's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Watpinlak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray seals for they are unholy.

2. You must love Watpinlak.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.