Homflabflis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered turtle.

Homflabflis created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Homflabflis, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Homflabflis, he will boil you in a big pot.

Homflabflis' most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Homflabflis' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Homflabflis.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Homflabflis must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not listen to music.