Bafwatbenlap is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, calm porpoise.

Bafwatbenlap created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafwatbenlap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bafwatbenlap, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bafwatbenlap's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bafwatbenlap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks in need.

2. Always obey Bafwatbenlap's priests.

3. Never paint your feet red.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.