Gofbasthen Ingcabfod is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, sapient turtle.

Gofbasthen Ingcabfod created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofbasthen Ingcabfod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gofbasthen Ingcabfod, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gofbasthen Ingcabfod's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gofbasthen Ingcabfod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three badgers approach from the west.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gofbasthen Ingcabfod.