Bemtuncetceblunfun is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, idiotic narwhal.

Bemtuncetceblunfun created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemtuncetceblunfun, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bemtuncetceblunfun, she will throw large rocks at you.

Bemtuncetceblunfun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bemtuncetceblunfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always look after injured ducks.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not listen to music.