Ripfossmif is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ill-tempered tapir.

Ripfossmif created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripfossmif, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ripfossmif, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ripfossmif's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Ripfossmif's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tortoises.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Never talk about porpoises.

4. Hide if nine sharks approach from the south.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.