Jontigabhimmet is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, flying slug.

Jontigabhimmet created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jontigabhimmet, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jontigabhimmet, it will turn you into a tree.

Jontigabhimmet's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Jontigabhimmet's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jontigabhimmet.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.