Zigfutgil is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, irritating manatee.

Zigfutgil created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Zigfutgil, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zigfutgil, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zigfutgil's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Zigfutgil's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always treat seals with great respect.

3. Zigfutgil loves rats, so they must be honoured.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.