Cemwatfat is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, boastful cow.

Cemwatfat created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Cemwatfat, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cemwatfat, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cemwatfat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Cemwatfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Cemwatfat's name in vain.

2. Always help bats.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Pray towards the south.