Stanmobcen is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unfair gnu.

Stanmobcen created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Stanmobcen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stanmobcen, it will turn you into a dog.

Stanmobcen's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Stanmobcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Hide from fawn capybaras for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.