Arppasfon is a god.

He takes the form of a small, happy goose.

Arppasfon created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arppasfon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Arppasfon, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Arppasfon's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Arppasfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

5. Respect your elders.