Hamjoprull Tapsitcap is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthinking dryad.

Hamjoprull Tapsitcap created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamjoprull Tapsitcap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hamjoprull Tapsitcap, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hamjoprull Tapsitcap's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hamjoprull Tapsitcap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never wear red rings.

5. Feed all hungry ants.