Mummadlam is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fussy mole.

Mummadlam created viruses two years ago.

If you believe in Mummadlam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mummadlam, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Mummadlam's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Mummadlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.