Mutpasgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, able dryad.

Mutpasgeb created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutpasgeb, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mutpasgeb, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Mutpasgeb's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Mutpasgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Always obey Mutpasgeb's priests.

5. Hide if four doves approach from the south.