Sagbithiv is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous naga.

Sagbithiv created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagbithiv, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sagbithiv, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sagbithiv's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Sagbithiv's Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sagbithiv.

5. Hide from green sharks for they are unholy.