Ganpinmab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful cow.

Ganpinmab created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganpinmab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ganpinmab, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Ganpinmab's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ganpinmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near snails.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not hurt foxes.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Always help bats.