Flytailgigzen Bigtomsaw is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing naga.

Flytailgigzen Bigtomsaw created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flytailgigzen Bigtomsaw, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flytailgigzen Bigtomsaw, he will turn you into a puffin.

Flytailgigzen Bigtomsaw's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Flytailgigzen Bigtomsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never sing in the presence of goats.

3. Never bounce near capybaras.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.