Cissnutjinnurt Zodmisspag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, benevolent gnu.

Cissnutjinnurt Zodmisspag created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Cissnutjinnurt Zodmisspag, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cissnutjinnurt Zodmisspag, it will turn you into a duck.

Cissnutjinnurt Zodmisspag's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Cissnutjinnurt Zodmisspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near capybaras.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never eat corn.

4. Retreat if four pigs approach from the south.

5. Always wear brown.