Larnbafyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, two-faced dog.

Larnbafyarp created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnbafyarp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larnbafyarp, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Larnbafyarp's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Larnbafyarp's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Larnbafyarp eight times a day.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Larnbafyarp.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never eat green fruit.