Kadbusgess Fassistonk is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unjust spider.

Kadbusgess Fassistonk created the Sol system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadbusgess Fassistonk, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kadbusgess Fassistonk, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Kadbusgess Fassistonk's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Kadbusgess Fassistonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Never laugh in the presence of rats.

3. Never eat grapes.

4. Erect six silver sculptures of Kadbusgess Fassistonk on top of important buildings.

5. Do not commit murder.