Bissominlop is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, stupid walrus.

Bissominlop created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bissominlop, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bissominlop, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Bissominlop's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bissominlop's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Fast once a month.

5. You must pray to Bissominlop eight times a day.