Yoghubquat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unjust porpoise.

Yoghubquat created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoghubquat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yoghubquat, she will boil you in a big pot.

Yoghubquat's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Yoghubquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. You must love Yoghubquat.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.